Monday, 3 December 2012

I 'll love you for thousand more! I love you much MSH! I'm sorry!

Well, i guess is my time to stop and remain my distance as how i was with him. Now again i back to kind sort off, attach with him  back.Only me. Hmmm, don't wish to trouble him in any way. I just wonder, how come my love towards him is so so so strong and deep, even i sometimes he don't really give a good respond. Dunno is he or i'm the one thinking too much. Soory. Too many things i wish to apologize to him... I have moved on, mayb not into another guy or find another partner. Where i am now, it was a very hard journeyto me to able stand and be in the position where i am now. All the tears i shedded never been dry till now, and i wonder as well. Hmmm, dunno what else to do to able to see your face and touch you....I miss you. Never want to bring presure to him nor want make him feel suffer, not at all. All i want is him to be happy. Every single second, his name will be mentioning in my heart and mind, not i purporsely did just tend to happen in that way.No one wants the love to be fail, so am i. All i want a last chance, maybe not now i guess. I cant go through another heartbreak if it does not turn out well. I want him to finish his studies first and archive what he want in his life. I willing to wait, but i need an answer from him. What ever that happened on the day where we break up, it was not really an end, even he felt everything has come to an end, wonder why i don't or can't feel so. Maybe when i say this to him, he might feels that i just need more time and so on. Fact, he knows he well where i will be waiting. I dunno why i decided to wait, not to prove my true love or what so. I feeling of waiting him is strong, and i decided to do so. I knw you willing to do anything to break my decision and also not to making me wait.Sorry.What ever decision i took, i dont regret with it. Hmmm, maybe it just sound no sense at all. Well, lets see. I dont have a big hope or what so, i just have faith. I will be waiting. All i want you ti be happy always, if the happiness is not from me, im sorry. Please give me and you and this love for a last chance. Not now, perhaps later in life. Hmmm.Your birthday is coming very soon! As always i wished to celebrate or spend some time with you, i know is not gonna happen. No problem with that. This is your 21st Birthday! I believe you will have a great time with your lovely friends! :) There are so many things happened before you and me, but all was not my intention. Remember, you did ask me at once ''why you don't say hi or talk to me n say a word of hi to my friends?'' My answer is God promise, i don't do that in prupose. When i see you around college, you will be with your best friend. Where you told me before, she dislike me. So in that type of situation, how am i suppose to go in front of you and talk or say a word hi to other friends, when she dislike me.All the decision you took, i supported you and i be patient with it. I don't wish to hurt her as well. That;s why i don't talk to you when i see you around. I dont wish anything quarrel happen between you both, even you told you kinda used with it. Well, i dont wish to hurt anyone! Hmm, i know i had hurt you deeply as well. Everything happened was so fast,but when i was with you.That was the best time, thats where i learnt what is love where i really felt it so deeply.I don't have the heart to treat you as stranger in my life. If you leave this college, without telling me a word or meet me. Is okay.I have no rights, but i really afraid i will be in a deep shit situation back in my life. Hope i dont. :) All is well. Sorry for still loving you so deeply but i don't wish to make you feel annoyed with this and also telling you how much i missed you. Which i did last nite, so sorry! Okay, cant write more for now, thats it. <3 you for thousand more.! When i say love you, i do mean it. If the happiness is not with, let m know when you found your happiness. I will pray for you. :)  Of course i wish and hope is me, but destiny and God decides all at the end. Amen! Take care my love. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS, WHICH IS GRWOING DEEPLY WITHOUT MY INTENTION! LOVE YOU MSH! Everyone meets fail, but they will learn and come up again. I promise i wont fail another time and your make you fail.! I will shout to you one day,'' Idiot, i love you,i will pull you out!'' Make me do day. I will wait 4 you. Amen. :)

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